


Let Her Go

by jessiestark



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 13:37:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1512503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessiestark/pseuds/jessiestark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Doctor wakes up from a horrible nightmare, he ends up finding out that his life isn't much better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Her Go

       _“I-- I love you._

_Quite right, too. And I suppose… If it’s my last chance to say it…_

_Rose Tyler,  I--”_

A cold tear ran down his face at the moment his eyes opened, just to see the surroundings of his bed inside his bedroom. His hearts were beating fast and the Time Lord could feel a certain kind of grip on them. A weird grip he’d never felt in such way before. Although.. he knew the reason.

As he walked around his room, the corner of his eye caught an unknown feature. Stopping immediately, he looked around, his gaze going left back to the mirror. And what his eyes caught made his hearts skip a beat. No, that was impossible. No, no, no… what was going on? Slow steps lead him to the mirror and his hand hesitantly touched his face as realisation and the memories slid through his thoughts. Now the Doctor remembered everything. He had regenerated. This was his new body, that’s why he was feeling weird.

It was all clear: after leaving Rose Tyler safe and sound at home, the TARDIS came back to him, to save him from being killed by the daleks. He didn’t find Jack anywhere, and didn’t have time to look for him-- the vortex energy was running through his veins like pure acid. He had only time to close the door and settle his blue box to drift inside the time vortex before allowing his cells to heal themselves-- to regenerate.

As always, it was painful. But while it happened, he allowed his last thoughts to focus on someone special. A blonde girl. The blonde in the Union Jack. Rose Tyler. The time they’ve spent together was fantastic. More than fantastic it was… brilliant. But then, new body. New eyes, new muscles, new skeleton. New hair, new sideburns. New teeth! His voice was different, he seemed to have a different accent. Grabbing the closest mirror he found - what didn’t mean it was actually very close from him, since he found it only in the room next to the console room - the Doctor let himself study his new look. It was so different. The first page of a whole new book waiting to be the written.

But of course, every regeneration demands a certain amount of rest. He needed to rest, and that was the only important need for him right now. Not thinking about his body, nor about important people… Just rest.

It was what he did for Rassilon knows how long. This was the first time he woke up, but now the face he was staring at in the mirror wasn’t that alien. It was a face he got used to it. Even though he’d never seen it for more than minutes.

_And this was the moment that the blind was taken off from his eyes._

_Reality was getting to him._

_But it just simply didn’t make_

_**s e n s e.**_

Rose Tyler was on his head now. But not the Rose Tyler he had kissed to save and send it away. It was a different Rose. It was a Rose who had shared a whole lot of laughter and sassiness, to whom he had given his hearts without even questioning about it. A Rose who’d make a bright smile take its place on his face just by the fact that she was there. His hearts beat fast at her thought. But if they travelled together, something here didn’t make sense. Why does it feel like this was the first time he was waking up after the regeneration? Why was he still wearing the same clothes from the man who he'd been before?

No, something was off here. Maybe Rose could explain him everything. The whole scene in the beach was a all a dream, right? After all, he’d only woken up. Yes, Rose would put his head in the right place, bring order over the chaos that took place in his mind. The Time Lord quickly made his way through the corridors and toward her room. It was just like he remembered, and this fact made his breath get a little more relaxed. He reluctantly watched the shut door for a while before opening it, the corners of his mouth starting to already open a smile. The Doctor slowly peeked inside….

_and found nothing._

An empty room was behind the door. Nothing of the bedroom he’d expected to find. Nothing like he was hoping, nothing to.. calm him down. Now the second possibility for what was going on was winning the battle in his mind as he stumbled a few steps into the empty room. The grip in his hearts was stronger than ever before and his breath was accelerating over the seconds. Desperation was impregnating his cells as he looked around, walking in circles while his fingers tangled his already messy hair and his mind still looked for a solution. Maybe.. this was the wrong room?

At such thought, the Doctor quickly ran back to the corridors and tried all the doors he could see. It wasn't the first one, nor the second, the third, nor the last. None of them. Running to the console room, he searched for living forms inside the TARDIS. But the results corfirmed his fears. He was alone. There was no Rose Tyler. No trace to confirm she was here after the whole Bad Wolf thing.

"No..." The Time Lord reluctantly muttered, letting himself fall in the cold floor, his back against the console. Rose promised she was going to be with him forever. She promised it. She.. said she loved him. He loved her. He needed her to be real.

He only felt the tears minutes ago after staring at nowhere, his shaky breath was the only sound in the room. Where once were his hearts now remained two empty graves. The pain took over the Time Lord as he still tried to go against the only logical line of thinking proved by the TARDIS.

_Rose Tyler was a dream. Just a sweet dream with the woman he loved._

                  _A dream of the times that never will. Of the adventures they've never lived._

_She felt like real._

_But this was the face she'd never seen._

_Well, you only need the light when it’s burning low_

_Only miss the sun when it’s starts to snow_

_Only know you love her when you let her go_

_Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low_

_Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home_

_Only know you love her when you’ve let her go_

_**And you let her go...** _


End file.
